Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
