I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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