but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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