On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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