On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
