I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
