no, he came in my armpit
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
