wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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