well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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