if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
