Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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