Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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