She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
