So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
