we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My penis needs a shock collar
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
