the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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