We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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