And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
