Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
