So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
