HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
