Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
