He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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