It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
