do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
