My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
