Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
