Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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