i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think a kid would responsible me up
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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