your thong is hanging out like whoa
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
