nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
