I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
