I am puke
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
