The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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