My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
