Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
