I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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