I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
