I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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