Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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