The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize