the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
