oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
