Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
