I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You can't motorboat a personality
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
