hotel room ftw
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
