My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
