Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
