He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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