the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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