carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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