this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
