I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
