ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
