office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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