I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
