Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
